Empowerment begins with the recognition that feeling is not the same as thinking. People often confuse the two. (I feel ________ so I must be __________). Feelings are internally driven and subjective. When feelings lead you to believe the worst in yourself, you hinder your ability to growth. Feelings are like a floating river, what you feel at any given moment is temporary and, thus, accessible to change. The present does not have to sabotage the future or define your true potential. Know that life is always changing and so are you. Learning to give yourself permission to just “be” empowers you to become.
WHOSE SHOES DO YOU CHOOSE? SHOES AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE July 27, 2011
There are those shoes that we are forced to wear due to circumstances. Dress shoes fall in that category. Those are the ones that look good but are not usually comfortable. By the end of the occasion, you are dying to take them off and they inevitably leave their mark (typically in the form of a blister or calf pain). We do it again and again for the “bigger purpose” These shoes are analogous to the many roles we play and external standards imposed on us. They serve a function but require us to live with inconveniences.
Shoes such as soccer or ballet slippers help define us. These shoes are special because they represent something we love and derive self esteem from. Size changes over time but their value remains priceless– a symbol of who we dream to be.
Old worn out shoes are challenging. Though they are falling apart, we hate to part with them. This represents life transitions. Moving from one stage to anther comes with mixed feelings, the joy of moving forward and sadness of leaving something behind.
New Shoes are an interesting category. We hope, from the few short minutes trying them on in the store, that they will be comfortable from the start. Rarely is this the case. Typically, these shoes require “breaking them in.” Like in life, we must work through feelings that may hold us back. If we persevere and build resilency, changes become opportunities. Over time, we outgrow them and must move on to a new pair of shoes and the transition process begins again.
RIDING THE WINGS OF CHANGE July 21, 2011
There must first be a CURIOSITY. A desire to learn something new, to look beyond the surface.
We must let go of our FEARS. Fear of failure and fear of the unknown are natural reactions. Not only is understanding the “fear” critical, but we must also learn to recover from it in order to move forward.
Make CHANGE an asset. A certain amount of stress can be a motivator. Identify positive stress (eustress) versus negative stress (distress). Get EXCITED about asking the questions rather than knowing the answers.
Don’t go it ALONE. Finding external support systems enables you to see things from someone else’s perspective that you might miss and build camraderie with others who can be compassionate.
A BRIDGE between the past and present. We cannot abandon our “old selves” but can take that foundation and build upon it. Loving our whole self with all it’s imperfections is critical to navigating our present and future paths.